Rabu, 08 Juni 2011


It was a bright Saturday on October 2010. I was getting ready to attend one of my best friends' wedding, putting make up on my face and accidentally found a red lump inside the lower lid of my left eye. The size of the lump was small that it was almost not visible from the outside. Although it was small, it still concerned me a lot since it's my eye we're talking about her. The lump did not cause any disturbance. I didn't feel any pain or discomfort whatsoever. I though it would gone by itself, but a week passed and it's still there and still red. So I decided to see a doctor. As I entered the room, the doctor didn't seem to find anything wrong with my eyes so he asked what brought me there. I slid the lower lid of my left eye and he saw the lump. It only took him three seconds to say that it should be removed through a small operation. I said "What?!" I never had any kind of operation whatsoever and the thought of having my eye operated was a complete horror to me.

So asked if there was other way to treat the lump, which was actually a Chalazion. The kind doctor examined the lump closer and once again said that as he couldn't see that the lump had an eye, a regular and non-invasive medication wouldn't work. He must have noticed that my face turned pale once again and asked if I wanted to give it a try anyway. I said yes so he gave me a prescription for a week. I had to take an antibiotic once a day and apply an ointment right to the lump three times a day. Before I left, the doctor said if the lump didn't go away after a week, I had to come back and had it removed. Leaving the doctor's room, I said OK while praying so hard that the lump would disappear so I didn't have to go through any operation.

I did what the doctor said obediently. I never forgot to take the antibiotic, apply the ointment, and hoping the lump would get smaller and eventually gone in a matter of days. A week passed and red eye was gone. However, the lump was still there! It did not even get smaller. So that day, right after work, I gathered my courage and went to the doctor to have the small operation. As soon as I met the doctor and said that my Chalazion was still there, I could see that look on his face saying "Told ya!"

5 Minutes later I was lying down on an operation bed in a small operation room and had a nurse cleaning my left eye. I was supposed to text my brother so he could pick me up as soon as I had the operation, but the nurse led me to the operation room quickly and I didn't had the chance to do it. All of a sudden the doctor entered the room and started the operation procedure. Since it was my eye lid he was operating, even though it was blurry, I could see a small knife and other tools approaching my eye. It was scary and a bit painful. I clenched my teeth out of nervousness and anticipation. The doctor said that there was a lot of blood but it was actually normal. It took only 5 minutes and the doctor said "Ok, we're done!" My left eye was covered with a bandage and the nurse said I could take it off the next morning. I also had to keep on applying the ointment until the scar was completely disappear.

So I walked out of the room like a pirate having my left eye covered with a bandage. Seeing with only an eye and still nervous from the operation, I walked down the stairs very carefully. I was still quite puzzled so I went straight to the toilette looking for a mirror to see how I look like with a bandage over my left eye. It looked and felt weird. The thought of having to go home alone with that condition confused me, but I couldn't wait for my brother to come and pick me up as it would take at least 30 minutes or even more! I couldn't wait that long, I wanted to go home and lie on my bed as soon as possible. So finally I decided to go home alone but I realized that I had to do it very carefully since my vision is reduced by 50% at that point. I walked out of the toilette and almost hit a wall to my left because I couldn't see it. Damn you bandage!

Walking out of the eye clinic, all the nurses and staffs are starring at me. They must be pity me for having no one accompanying me. Crossing the street was my first challenge as soon as I left the eye clinic. I waited until  it was completely empty. I made it! Thank God I only had to take a public transport once so I thought it wouldn't be that difficult. I stopped one and hopped in. As I did, the little boy who was sitting on the front seat with his mom couldn't take his eyes off me..or my bandage. He seemed terrified! LOL

I arrived home safe and sound, and as I had expected, my family was surprised to see me with a bandage on my eye and asked why I hadn't texted or called so that my brother could pick me up. I said it didn't matter. Having the bandage on is very uncomfortable. I couldn't see things clearly, especially when I watched TV. The next morning, I opened it up and was very thrilled to see my eye was perfectly fine and the Chalazion was completely gone!

Chalazion is actually a cyst found in the inside of the eyelid. It is caused by a blocked meibomian gland that leads to inflammation. It is normally painless but may cause discomfort, and in long term may also lead to astigmatism due to the pressure it gives to the cornea. Chalazion is normally found on the upper eyelid since there are more meibomian glands on the area, but mine was on the lower eyelid. Chalazion removal is done by tearing the lump and drain the liquid out of it. It is usually done under local anesthesia.  Below is a video of Chalazion removal operation I picked out from YouTube. Every time I watch it, I just couldn't believe I had gone through such thing. Thank God it only took 5 minutes!

Senin, 06 Juni 2011


It does not matter how careful we are or how hard we try to keep ourselves well-behaved and act smart, there are always times when we made the silliest mistake ever that we keep it for ourselves. We fear of the judgment people may lay on us if we told them the silly little secret. However, few people choose to tell their friends anyway. It may take a while, but eventually they come clean by letting people know about it.

If you run a Google search on the silliest things people ever did, you will be surprised for what you will discover. There's one who fell through the roof in the corridors at the law court, once wore his trousers inside out, and even there's one who got caught up with his best friend's mom! Well, my story of the silliest thing ever is milder than getting caught making out with a friend's parent, obviously, but it's still really silly, at least for me.

It was a fine day in September last year. I was brushing my teeth in the shower. The thing about me and brushing my teeth is the fact that I always put a lot of effort in doing it. I was told by the dentist that I should not have to brush my teeth too hard or too long as the most important thing is the technique, but I just couldn't get rid of the habit. Back at the scene, I guess I was trying to brush the inside of my upper teeth. I brushed back and forth so hard that all of a sudden the toothbrush slipped and somehow poked my eye! It really hurt because of two things. The poke and the toothpaste. The toothpaste that I used is the common type that has mint in it. The cold and fresh sensation of the mint feels great in your mouth, but trust me, it feels awful when it gets into your eyes! I had to wash my eyes many many times with clean water to get rid of the pain and the white of my eyeball turned red. The pain remained for hours, the red eye stayed for days, but the embarrassment of ever experienced such silly thing lasts forever!

I told my friends about it, and they laughed, of course. LOL

Btw, I checked and found that I'm not the only one who accidentally poked my eye with a toothbrush. Yay!
There's even a guy who did the same thing and made a Facebook group account about it!

Rabu, 01 Juni 2011


The title of this post is a sentence I read from the note of Chuck Lorre at the end of one of my favorite TV series The Big Bang Theory. Chuck Lorre, who is the executive producer of this successful comedy always gives his note at the end of every episode. The notes are about anything that happened to cross his mind by the time he wrote them. This time, that thing is about pain and how it affects us. You see that usually people say that what doesn't kill you makes us better, or in the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." So instead of putting the word "stronger" or "better" at the end f the sentence that I made into the title of this post, Chuck Lorre decides to put the word "bitter." He said in the note that he used to be believe it in order to be both funny and true.

The sentence, which I think is pretty witty, struck my mind. One of my closest friends always say to me that pain is good because it makes you stronger. He is obviously a huge fan of Nietzsche's. But it seemed that I could not connect with the meaning behind the sentence. I know what it means, but I always feel that there is something wrong about it. When I found the word "bitter" at the end of the sentence, I found myself smiling spontaneously and I believe that some sort of an agreement was the reason behind it.

That's it!
What doesn't kill us makes us bitter!

Now I can feel it. I'm finally connected to the sentence like I've never been. The pain I feel makes me bitter. I used to be the kind of person who thinks about things as positive. I see good things in people and in everything. But it turned out that life is not just about a sunny side up. There's rain and storms as well. Being hurt, disappointed, and even betrayed has turned me into a bitter person that almost doesn't believe in sincerity. It may sound a little scary, but that's the truth. Well, I am not entirely bitter,though. I still have those little flakes of positivity and a slight of a happy-go-lucky spirit inside me. I know I won't turn into a full-time bitter person 'cause I always believe that everyone is a part-time angel and a part-time evil.